San Fran Freak-Out

It’s official. I brought too much damn stuff. I thought I did well, but hiking up to Maura’s 4th floor apt with one somewhat large rolling suitcase and two smaller backpacks nearly took me out. The main bag was too heavy, and I really needed to get rid of one of my backpacks entirely. I decided to enlist Maura’s help…I knew she’d be sensible and far more removed form the situation than I was. Later that night, she saw me wearing the one pair of heels I brought and and just laughed at me. Ugh, this letting go process was already getting difficult. Bye bye cute heels. See ya later Deisel jeans. That one hot sundress? You took up so little space, and you will be missed.

And following on the heels of that letting-go process came Part II—my emotional letting-go process. I had a long crying bout my first night in San Francisco and a Sat morning so fraught with insecurity about my decision to leave that it’s safe to say I was wallowing in a pit of despair. But by the time we got some coffee and my jeans arrived via fed ex (I had left the one pair I really needed on my bed back in balitmore in my mad rush to get out the door), I started to feel the sadness ebb away and a renewed sense of excitement started to overtake me. I welcomed that feeling; the exhilaration of knowing that I’d planned for and was about to follow through with something that will ultimately be totally life changing. The reality of having allowed myself this time to explore my artistic passions was finally starting to make me smile. The tumult of emotions I’ve experienced in the past month is difficult to describe, but I was finally starting to settle into the rush of adrenaline.

When we got back to Maura’s place after dinner with my cousins on Sat night, I was so excited about the nighttime view from her balcony that I set up my tripod and took about 10 long exposures of the San Francisco skyline. I was having so much fun with that tripod that I even woke myself up at 6am just to check on the light to see if it was worth trying to get a dawn shot. It wasn’t. So I took a few right after sunset before I left for the airport (once again, totally stressing myself out for time). Here they are in all their sparkly glory.

Needless to say, I can’t WAIT to get my hands on the Sydney skyline. I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with that tripod.

So San Francisco was really a fantastic time…I spent quality time with Maura and got to hang out with two sets of cousins (my other cousin Jamie, veteran world-traveler, came for dinner on Sun night and drove me to the airport), and left feeling really ready.